emo entry... >_<

Day 13 – 4 Aug 08 (Mon)

Yest was the first day I spent alone in my Nanjing apartment… it really felt extremely quiet and lonely… I didn’t have a tv in the apt, coz the landlord didn’t provide one… so the whole house was just so quiet that my ears started to ring the moment I stepped into the apt… so the first thing I did was to turn on my laptop and play some music… anything to break the silence… I left the music on all the time, even while I was showering… you know what, I wanted to watch my jap drama at first… but suddenly this thought crossed my mind… I’m in nanjing… haven’t you all heard about the nanjing massacre (南京大屠杀)?? So I basically scared myself into not watching the jap drama… me & my wild imagination… sigh… >_<

Anyway, Monday was boring…no internet connection in the apartment yet… so I could only rely on friends and family who called from sg for company… if not for their calls, the night would have been unbearable… too bored & lonely… furthermore, I was feeling rather sick… down with flu and sore throat… maybe withdrawal symptoms from my mom coz she just went back to sg… oh well, popped a flu tablet and went to bed early…

Day 14 – 5 Aug 08 (Tues)

Was still feeling unwell… my flu kinda worsened… =(

Went to the police station to get my temporary stay permit done today… there were quite a lot of problems with the admin procedure at first…but eventually it was sorta settled…so I was about to leave with the colleague who brought me there, when the policewoman suddenly called out to us, asking us to hold on… apparently, the police officer in charge of the district would like to meet us…

We waited for damn long before the officer finally returned to the station…so we followed him up to his office where he spoke to us…

“你自己一个女孩住这儿吗?
你为什么会选择住这里啊？
你知不知道这里的治安很不好？
你的大门是不是用铁做的？
大门的锁头牢固吗？
窗口的锁头有检查过吗？确定牢固吗？
窗外有没有栏杆?
你要记得把门窗都锁好，要一再地检查清楚！
记得不要太晚回家，走回去的时候一定要注意周围，查看是否有人跟着你。。”

-_-“ why did the officer look so worried and concerned… why did he have to remind me of so many things…? All these questions clouded my mind… and I started getting worried too…

my colleague told him:
“窗外没有栏杆，但她住在四楼。。。”

the officer replied:
“6楼都有人爬上去了，何况是4楼！”

-sian diao-

if you thought that was bad, think again… of all things, the officer had to add this last part:

“其实，我才刚从你那儿回来，抓了两个人！”

-faints-

GG.

Why on earth did I choose to stay at that place…

I was in a daze for the rest of the day… the only thought that crossed my mind was how would my parents react if they hear about this…it would totally freak them out and cause them even more worry…especially my mom, coz I know she’s already been damn worried about me all this while… sigh… went back to my dangerous apt from the police station and wondered if I should break the news to my family… in the end, I decided that I ought to let them know… so i called home and told them…

As expected, it only caused their anxiety to be worsened by 10 folds… I myself got rather affected too… started worrying if I’d be able to make it back alive, in one piece… sorry, know I was rather morbid… but seriously, I still want to see my friends and family… I still have so many things to do back in sg… did I make the wrong decision to come here…

But I knew there was no turning back… I had made a decision, and I’ve got to bear the consequences… I’ll take the necessary precautions to keep myself safe, coz I know there’re lotza people whom I care about who’re also very worried about me, and they’re all awaiting for my return a few months from now… I must protect myself for them… I’ll go back home right after work, stone in the apartment, hold onto my security alarm wherever I go, look out for suspicious characters all around even if it makes me look like some oversensitive & over-suspicious freak… I’ll do all that I can to reduce the risk… and leave the rest to fate… if it happens, it happens…

all these thoughts flooded my mind as I popped a few more flu tablets and drifted off to sleep…